An Apocalypse Every Morning

by Sanjay Kataria

‘Did you see that?’
‘what?’
‘That!’ – she said pointing up in tha air.
With my pair of glasses off my face, i speculated, ‘It’s amazing.’
‘what?’ – she said looking at me in disgust.
‘umm…well you were talking about that myna perched on the tree,
right?’ – I said because she showed me a myna an hour before. Her face
was lightened to see it then; and maybe now.
‘There’s no myna there.’
I looked at her with a sagged face.
She looked at me and repeated with rejuvinating energy, ‘Are you sure
you don’t see anything?’
‘Ah…actually no.’
She sighed. ‘look up…and around you. Dont you see green-, orange-,
yellow-coloured leaves? Dont you see purple-, red-, indigo-coloured
flowers? Dont you see the beauty of the nature around you?’
‘Oh, yes, they are nice.’ i said coldly.
I did not have the balls to tell her that, except for a few human
beings, i hate everything supposedly made by god: dogs, cats,
cockroaches, birds, leaves, flowers, mountains, snow, rain, and
everything one could thing of.
The next day, i woke up at six am and made a resoution that I would
continue going for a jog. I had started the previous day. My past
expeditions for attempting to take care of my health were no longer
than a day.

While I was jogging for the second day, I saw a very old man in his
90s walking towards me. I remembered that I had seen him the previous
day too. As the distance between us shortened, I looked into his eyes
as he looked into mine.  With less than a meter between us, he looked
deeply into my eyes and passed a smile.
I smiled back giving a cold shoulder. Why did he smiled at me? Do i
know him? – I asked myself.
Rediculing it, I continud my jog. Thereafter, a man and a women
jogging together too passed a smile at me. Though i didn’t remember
seeing them but I presumed that they must have seen me the previous
day. I smiled back at them without presuming the nature of relatonship
between them – man and his wife or a man and his sister or any other
relationship but not that of a boyfriend and a girlfriend.
After they got past me, I wondered why I did not see them as “my”
world would have seen them if they were walking in the evening. Was it
the transcendental effect of mornings or was I walking in an utopian
world? I looked around at things around me.
I saw trees: they smiled at me with their million leaf-like wings.
I saw birds: they winked at me with their small but glaring eyes.
I saw dogs: they did’t bark at me. (Though they didn’t smile at me but
their silence was more than enough.)
I saw beggars: they didn’t look at me with an expectation that I
should help them with some money (probably I looked poorer to them).
God wasn’t that bad, i thought. However, i wasn’t going to change my
thinking this very soon.

I stay in a market place – quite used to the mealstrom. However,
mornings are incredibly different. I looked at the material things
around me: they did not bear the label of being exclusive to certain
section of people: outside the closed jewelry shop were men reading
newspaper in vernacular language; outside the branded showroom were
men wearing dressed in vests and lungi and selling coconut water;
outside the metro station were men and women waiting to go to the
countryside; on the road were men and women jogging with a bright
face. Immediately I remembered what my economics teacher had once said
when I had asked him ‘how could this inequality between nations be
gone’: only until an apocalypse brings eveyone to the same level.

In the world I live in, an apocalypse
takes place every morning: every other person I see is happy with a
shining hope that that day would be different. Is it the rising sun
that everyone talks about or my short-sighted vision of my world?
Whatever the reasons but from now on I would not lie that ‘It’s a
myna’.

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2 comments

  1. This is very engaging read, Sanjay! Despcriptive and suggestive- fodder for imagination. To think with you and about you. Like it a lot 🙂

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