Diary of an Anti-National – Prabudh Singh

I was born as a North Indian, ‘upper’ caste, middle class, Hindu, male. On the top of it, into a family holding allegiance to the Hindutva ideals of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), and at a place most known for communal riots – Meerut. The only mistake which I committed while growing up is that I started to think.

I started to think that who in our society and our country is eating the cream, and who is dying of hunger.

Who is a born ‘Indian’, and who is born as a ‘Chinki North-Easterner’, ‘Black South Indian’, ‘Kashmiri Terrorist’, etc. Who is worshipped as ‘Maryada Purushottam’ in our temples, and who is called ‘Asura’, ‘Bhangi’, ‘Chamar’ and is debarred from the same temples, whether religious or educational. Who is purifying its soul with Pepsi-Cola, and who is dying of thirst because it costs 20 rupees to buy a Bisleri bottle of ‘natural mineral water’. Who is a Hindu of the ‘pure’ colonialist Aryan race, as Hitler once conceptualized, and who is the invader threat to our ‘great civilization’. Who is the masculine man whose duty is to protect his own women, and thus abuse, beat-up, kill and rape in the name of his feminine mythical figure – ‘Bharat Mata’.

I have been told many a times by some people that I can’t be from Meerut, as people from Meerut are ‘fundamentalist’ by nature. Well, if the fundamentalism of these people means killing the oppressed Dalits and the Muslim minority, I reject this fundamentalism and shall speak and fight against it.

I shall speak against the murderous and rapist tendencies of the colonial and imperialist Indian state as depicted in Kashmir, Manipur, Chhattisgarh, and at every other place where the police, the army, the corporates, and our esteemed parliamentary politicians are in a naturally corrupt collusion.

I shall speak not just against the political ideology of Hindutva, but against the Brahminical Hinduism itself which Dr. B.R. Ambedkar once called a disease. I shall fight against it like Rohith Vemula did, no matter even if I am also institutionally murdered like him.

I shall speak not only against the theological and mythical Hinduism which never let the masses think rationally of their realist material conditions, but also fight against the Pandit-Mullah combination who work as contractors of their own created crap called religion, and its competitive product – communalism.

I shall speak against the narrow self-interests of the middle class when it starts to lick the boots of the corporates and sucks the blood out of the working classes. I shall fight against making the corporate vultures like Tata-Birla-Ambani the ‘national heroes’ (heroines are always put on a secondary position, though).

I shall speak against the strange principle that one human being is superior to the other because he has a penis. I shall fight against the idea of ‘masculinity’, which declares me not being man enough because my muscles are not inflated and body is thin. I reject this masculinity which makes one rape and murder, and then chant ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai’ to purify their crimes. I shall also fight against the idea of ‘feminity’, which declares my female lover unfit for love because she has a few ‘extra’ kilos filled in her tummy.

If turning a blind eye to the diseases of our own society and country is ‘Nationalism’, then I am a proud ‘Anti-National’. As Umar Khalid puts it – “Being an Anti-National is easy. You start to think, and you will become an Anti-National.”


Prabudh Singh is a MA Sociology student at South Asian University.



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